We’re scared to receive, we’re scared to be vulnerable and admit we need help

October 11, 2015

We’re scared to receive, we’re scared to be vulnerable and admit we need help

We want to help others. Helping others really makes us happy. We would do almost anything to help other people, to take care of them, rescue them and nurture them.

But one thing is wrong – we don’t take care of ourself.

So, we become full of resentment, anger and sadness. We feel depleted. What was once the joy of giving and being of service has turned into being worn out and not getting our needs met.

But – we’re scared to receive, we’re scared to be vulnerable and admit we need help and a part of us doesn’t think we’re worth the trouble anyway.Our child within needs the joy of self-nourishment.

Sound familiar?

Well, it does to us too because that’s how we’ve felt about ourself for a long time. Until things get so painful that we have to change and acknowledge that our child buried within needs to be acknowledged.

We have become the story of the healer who can’t seem to help him or herself.

Something is off with this story. Taking care of others with out taking care of ourself isn’t selfish. It’s dissociated. Its a form of escapism its ceased to work.

We have to have a healthy level of self-focus and self-care in order to be able to acknowledge our child withins journey and in so doing we gain enough compassion and loving-kindness to give to others.

it’s totally OKAY and totally necessary to take care of ourselves.

We want to be around to live our purpose and give our gift of recovery for a long time. If we are so worn out that we end up resenting others that we are helping, what good is that to us or them?

It will be scary to dive into self-care. It can be scary to take time for us. But it is just what we need.

Maybe clear out that packed schedule for some down time. Maybe take ourself out for some yoga, a massage or just take time for some good old fashioned silence and a little meditation. Maybe say no to all those people asking for our help — not because we’re selfish, but because we need some peace!

The world won’t come to an end if you say no to others so that we can take care of ourself. Though we sometimes might think otherwise, others can survive without us for a little while while we take care of ourself.

Also, consider this – is it possible that we’ve been dissociating/escaping from living our own recovery by putting all our focus on someone else and not on us?

Hmmm... what a convenient distraction from our recovery!

W’re not suggesting that we abandon those whom we Love, but what we are asking is have you abandoned yourself in the process of taking care of others? If so, what might getting ourself back look like?